How Do You Say "WAP"?

Quinn: [00:00:00] I saw there was a tweet online, someone said, wait, Beyonce was in a girl group? And everyone was like now I'm going to, I want to fucking die.

Welcome to Not Right Now, the podcast about parenting through all of this.

Claire: We'll be talking about slash crashing out over topics like

Quinn: TikTok time limits and the collapse of local news.

Claire: Have you done your homework? And have I remembered to ask you if you've done your homework? And other existential questions.

Quinn: It's not an advice show.

Claire: It's a, you're not alone and you're also not crazy for screaming in the shower kind of show. I'm Claire Zulkey from Evil Witches.

Quinn: And I'm Quinn Emmett from Important Not Important.

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Quinn: I want to talk about music this week, Claire.

Let me start with this. It's, what time is it there? 11:20. Do you drive your kids to school? Do they walk, take the bus?

Claire: My husband drives the kids normally and they actually play DJ in the car, typically on the way there. So I asked him to tell me a little bit about what music they're listening to, but I do want to say before I talk about my kids, if I may, I grabbed my time and my privilege this morning and I was an absolute Karen this morning about music.

Because I went to an Orange Theory class and I was infuriated that our teacher chose a playlist that seemed to [00:01:00] be only white men guitar music. I would say like Jimmy Eat World and maybe Blink 182 and Foo Fighters. And there has been an ice storm here and the class was at 8:45 and I was like, I did not get up this morning to work out and be in the Red Zone to listen to music that no Black person or gay person ever listens to. And so I gently told the front desk lady that I was too much of a wimp to tell the coach, but I was like, that was not my favorite playlist at any point.

Quinn: But did you offer a solution? What did you propose?

Claire: I said, the only white people in music I want to listen to at the gym is Eminem or Britney Spears. And she said, maybe Kesha. And I said, Kesha is allowed, but I want to pretend like I'm dancing. I want to listen to stuff I listened to when I was in high school or middle school or today's pop music.

Things that probably are too raunchy to listen to at 8:45 before you have to go pick up your kids or do a work call or something like that. Something that makes you forget for a moment that you are a middle aged [00:02:00] woman trying to beat perimenopause and your metabolism and just for a second pretend that you are in the club, even though maybe you never actually really went to the club, but you can imagine it in your mind while you were power walking on the treadmill.

Quinn: One of my favorite things, three nights a year my children have a home summer swim meet and their team, it's a big, it's like Friday Night Lights. But more fun but for neighborhood swimming. Their team is 175 kids, something like that from ages 6 to 18. It's this totally unique thing. They grow up together on the same, it's all great. Anyways, three nights a year they have home meets and as of a couple years ago I took on the full time announcing duties and which I basically turned into a dj set. And you realize very quickly what will make this six hour meet? And then, okay, like anything else, like your writing, in an audience, who is this for, who are these adults, but also who are these 175 times two, 400 kids. And so you got to really [00:03:00] bridge some like upbeat, I guess it's Taylor Swift. What was the album where she was mad at everybody?

Claire: That's every album.

Quinn: No, like in the snake one where everybody got, Retribution? No. What's it called?

Claire: You're asking the, I hate to be gendered, but I have two boys, so we don't really fuck with Taylor Swift.

Quinn: No, I get it, anyways, but it's like the more party type stuff.

Or it was easy to lean at first into Oh, we'll do fun disco stuff and things like that. And then I really realized like, all these parents wanted to hear at like 9:30 on a Monday night after we've been there for three hours is like Usher and Little John and all the things that you know, like you said in the club, there's a still an animal part of them that's like the last time I heard this song it was not appropriate, what was happening, and I just like to look around at all those parents when you play and go like what are they thinking about? What is this making them think about?

Claire: There is a woman I follow on Instagram who did a bit about how disheartening it is to be 45 and to see all the music that you [00:04:00] used to listen to being advertised for things like full body deodorant and hot flash medicine.

Quinn: But it works.

Claire: This really killed me. I saw an ad for Cologuard, Little John and it was about get low, meaning shit in the box and send it and it was really, I used Cologuard and that was a weird experience where I was like, maybe it would have been better to actually go get a full, Oh my God, like a whole routine.

Cause then I'd get drugs and everything. Because it is really strange. Have you used it by the way? Have you used Cologuard?

May I talk about poop for a minute?

Quinn: Please, by all means.

Claire: Not to brag, but I was cleared as being the kind of person who can do the box without having to go get a whole process in the hospital, but you have to like send a good poop. And that's really, that's a lot of pressure because you don't really always know what you're going to get, so then you're wondering if they're going to judge the value of your turd, if they're going to be like this is a big mess, like God, what, what's her problem.

And then once you get it going and you send it in the mail, you have to go drop it off at the [00:05:00] UPS store and it says Cologuard on it. So hat they know that, you're giving them a box of shit. So anyway. I might just go to the hospital next time and get the good drugs and just get a camera put up my butt or whatever it is that gets done.

Anyway, yeah. Music I used to listen to in college was advertised for this service. And I guess that must be what it was like when like your parents heard the Beatles to advertise Sunchips and Nike and things like that.

Quinn: No, I think that's it. So let's talk a little bit about, imagine let's pick sort of a median. Imagine you're, not imagine, take me back to when you were 6th, 7th grade, 13. What's popping right now for you? What's on repeat?

Claire: Before I went to high school, we were way more in like, LL Cool J, Milli Vanilli, I would say, Bell Biv DeVoe, Boyz II Men, Motown Philly, and then we got to high school and then a little bit more what you call alternative music came in.

So Pearl Jam and [00:06:00] Smashing Pumpkins and Nirvana. So that is where I came from living in Chicago. We still do have good terrestrial radio, which I'm one of the few people in the world who like has a kitchen radio, and I prefer to listen to terrestrial radio. And it'd be a mix of what we call B 96, the killer B, what you put on your Friday night party music, but then also like indie rock radio station and that was the main blend I would say.

Didn't get into like dancey pop kind of gay music until maybe college or so, but yeah, that was what we had going on. What about you guys?

Quinn: First, was anything, were you indoctrinated into any type of music by your parents that was everything on growing up that you kind of held on to? Or maybe you did and you shed some of it for the poppy stuff.

Claire: Yeah. We listened to the oldies station a lot. Back then the oldies was like the 1950s and 60s, which was, I have no regrets. That was fun music and that's good for kids. And then my mom would have us listen to the classical station a lot, which actually the classical station now is my NPR.

Because I can't handle NPR. So classical music is my, [00:07:00] just when you want something peaceful and educational to wash over you, I listen to classical music. And then my dad was actually into pop music of the time, so a lot of cassettes of things like Dire Straits, Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, Huey Lewis.

And it's been interesting because there's like music that sort of was in the background that I didn't really clock until lately that I got back into. Genesis, and Doobie Brothers and Steely Dan and things like that. But my dad was a little bit more into pop music. And he likes, he would like to get a little bit, have a few cocktails and talk about how important Elvis was, which you're like, who cares, okay, dad, go back to bed.

But pretty good, they came from, they're Boomers. So they think they invented rock, pop and rock music. So they like to talk about, reflecting back on, my dad claims, there's a part of me that thinks this wasn't true. He claims that he saw Dylan perform and he plugged in and it was still at the time where Dylan got booed for plugging in.

And part of me is like, did you really go to [00:08:00] something like that? Or did you remember that? He also says he almost saw the Beatles, which is like not a thing, that's being like,

Quinn: My parents said they missed Woodstock because my dad had a softball game and I'm like, no. Almost.

Claire: Right. Yeah. No. But my mom remembers that there was some, I think of the Northwestern homecoming game. They had, their team was playing someone whose coach was Hazes and they had some, it doesn't matter, but they're playing the music Purple Haze. And she was like being right there, like the perfect music for the perfect time.

It was like when I was in New York city and it was New Year's and it was 1999 and they put on the Prince song 1999. And you were like, Yes. This is it. This is, I'm right here slotted right where this song was meant to be, so I think that was the same experience for them. How about you guys? What about your parents?

Quinn: I got a lot, my parents are from Jersey so we got a lot of Bruce Springsteen, which, I stand by, even if I listen to less now for a variety of reasons. But really stand by that. Lotta Motown, stuff like that growing up. I remember really [00:09:00] distinctly my dad making these tapes of, they had a bar in college that eventually closed because I'm sure they were just serving 18 year old children alcohol. And it was called Hickeys. And so he made these, I remember these four tapes. And they were like the songs that they listened to when they were at Hickey's in, whatever, 71, something like that. And thinking this is great music. This is, like you said, it's like really, it's great stuff. It stands the test of time. There was a lot of that. But I do think as oppressive as my childhood could be at times, I do wonder how much or how little they thought about did they ever think this is the kind of music I'm going to expose my child to today? Was there any thought process behind that? Or was it the boomer thing of, you're going to listen to what I'm listening to and I don't even consider that you're standing in this room with me?

Claire: Yeah, that's funny. My dad, he would play Beatles music, but I didn't get into the Beatles until I saw Paul McCartney play Hey Jude on Saturday Night Live.

And I remember it [00:10:00] was like, I won't take it when you're giving it to me, I have to take it in my own way. And then of course my brother, because it's him, he hated the Beatles because if we liked it, then he's just that kind of guy.

Like he's the guy with the hot take that the Beatles are not great. He listened to music soundtracks instead, like the Jurassic Park soundtrack, things like that.

Quinn: I have the fucking CD over there. I have that, but at the same time like I was the antithesis of that I went fully into the most popular music you could listen to just the raunchiest R&B, and I know you have a note in here about you said, I was dancing to I Wanna Sex You Up in 7th grade.

All kinds of shit like that. So much stuff. 112, Notorious B. I. G., like you said, LL Cool J when he went like full into just songs about sexy time. My friend and I even made CDs, which are like make out CDs. And we handed those out at school. A friend of mine recently, she admitted that she's still got them, which is amazing. So I like to think they're responsible for her children.

Claire: Do you want to hear something funny? I have a friend who, and she and I were like, good music friends. I remember [00:11:00] I feel like we listened to Beck a lot together. And I turned around to Phish and she's one of my friends who became like a touring Phish head kind of person.

But she was recently, not recently, but maybe some years ago, listening to an old mixtape that someone gave her in high school just to go back down memory lane. And she, I guess never listened to it all the way to the very end and at the end of side A or whatever, he said, Tracy, will you go to homecoming with me?

Quinn: That's incredible. Those things are time capsules. I remember. Oh god, my, another buddy and I, my dad got a new, it was a Compaq desktop and we got it and the day we got it, he and I attempted to install like a CD burner drive in it, into this brand new computer and the computer never turned back on again and it did not go great but making those, the tapes and the CDs was amazing. But yeah, I'm looking through my playlist here, it was everything like Dr. Dre, Dire Straits Blackstreet, Bruce Hornsby's from my town. We had quite a bit of that. Let's see what else has grown up here. [00:12:00] Eminem, obviously. A lot of Jay Z, early Kanye, Beasties.

Claire: Beastie Boys were very much my high school because I feel like a lot of my high school population was white boys who really wanted to be Black and then some Black people who would tolerate them.

Quinn: Yeah, a lot of NSYNC.

Claire: I saw NSYNC in concert in college that was like semi ironic concert viewing experience, but also not, I have to say, it's pretty fun to have at least one of those experiences with a bunch of screaming girls.

Quinn: Fully, and me, yeah. What else do I have here from that era? Like you said, some Pearl Jam. I mostly used the alternative hard rock stuff. I was less into the grungy than I was walking around, I'll send you a picture. I was telling my wife about this recently. My Walkman was like the Walkman Sport, the yellow one that had the clamp, the whole thing.

And then, eventually CD player, but yeah, I used rock for pump up, that's what it was for and everything else was all the time, but at the same time, like my bus drivers played, Biggie and Tupac.

Claire: Oh yeah, that would be at our typing class. [00:13:00] Oh man, Quinn, this is getting depressing. In my calligraphy class, going into high school, there was like a summer school thing that was basically like to get the little babies.

Because our high school is 3,000 kids, gigantic. And you would take summer school to orient yourself to the school. And you took typing and they would play Oh my God. 103.5, I want to say, which was like Dusty's and R&B music. And that was really good. I feel like a good entree to the music that, what the typing teacher wanted to listen to. And that was a great background. Good for typing. Good for a quick Brown Fox.

Quinn: Tell me if any of these ring a bell. I just clicked on the nineties R& B essentials playlist. Lauryn Hill. We still play that on repeat. Destiny's Child, obviously. I saw there was a tweet online. Someone said, wait, Beyonce was in a girl group? And everyone was like now I'm going to, I want to fucking die. Yeah, Mariah Carey, Usher, TLC, Keith Sweat, obviously Montel Jordan, like you said, Boyz II Men, Salt N Pepa. a lot of Whitney, love Whitney, Casey and [00:14:00] Ginuwine, Joe, Mary J. Blige, it's a pretty, it's pretty standard list. Brandy, yep, Don't Go Chasin Waterfalls.

Claire: Do you want to hear something funny? It just tickled me so much, was my son asked me a while ago when he was younger, if Beyonce is still alive. It just made me laugh because Beyonce is so pervasive and her influence only grows. Cause like Destiny's Child was, just came on when I was in college, like I remember, yeah, like Bootylicious, that is a mindfuck is like just seeing these people who've been relevant for so long and still be relevant and look so good, and still make music, which I know, I saw Paul McCartney play when I was 40.

And for a long time I didn't want to see him because I was like, he's such a dork, and so uncool. And my son actually asked, is he still alive? And I was like, it hit me like, yeah, he is still alive, you idiot. Go see him play. Like when he dies, you could have seen him. And he was fantastic.

Quinn: Yeah. We went and saw him at Dodger’s Stadium and you're like, oh, got it. [00:15:00] It's that guy. Let me ask you this. Did your parents ever police any of your own music that you were playing or listening to?

Claire: Not really. I had a good sense of what to listen to around them and what not to listen to around them and they didn't care. I listened to music in my own bedroom and things like that. It's funny because my husband has his own personality on this because he was an only child and had a completely different relationship with his parents and his dad was a Big Band DJ and had really strong opinions on what real music is, which is like Benny Hill, Big Band, and so he felt this intense sense of shame around pop music. And he was embarrassed if they ever heard it. And I think because my dad did listen to and care about pop music.

And even, up until a certain point, like he liked Pete Yorn, so, not too much. I also wasn't a dummy who was going to be like, Hey, listen to this Nelly song. I think you're really going to like it. I remember them not thinking very [00:16:00] much of it when I played them, one of my first tapes was En Vogue and they covered Yesterday, and I played that for them and they didn't think that much of it. No, not too much. They gave me enough space and I didn't really ask for their approval. Did you have one of those embarrassing experiences where you made your parents listen to music and they yelled at you?

Quinn: Yeah, a version of that. I did just think of one memory where I tried to justify having them listen to Drew Hill by playing them, I had picked up a single of something, Somebody's Sleeping In My Bed. There was a single which included an a cappella version and I played it for them and I was like, listen, these guys can sing and they were like, this is, what is your problem? By the way, Drew Hill is fantastic. And then we got the Thong Song from that from when Sisqo spun off. Jams all around. I less asked for permission and more, as a moron, like I just played what I was going to play and got yelled at, probably in part so that I could yell back and fight about it, but I have such a specific memory of my dad, who now loves this kind of music taking my promiscuous looking Foxy [00:17:00] Brown CD and splitting it in half like, cracking in half because you know the titles of all the songs were one amazing when I was 15. But I get inappropriate and now I think about that like I was this morning, so I was excited we're talking about this. So, you know, you go through this period where when your kid's up to their two, you can play literally whatever the fuck you want. It doesn't matter. They only want to hear a certain shit, but you can play your shit and not have to think about what any of this says.

Can they pick out words? Much less what is this about? And then they want their own stuff and you're doing Moana and Encanto for a while, which is great and Frozen. But then you're like now let's start playing some stuff. And they get into things and it was Taylor Swift for two years.

And like you said, Beastie Boys, my oldest right now alternates between John Williams essentials essentially, which I totally feel and ACDC live, which is great.

Claire: That's adorable.

Quinn: It's great. It's great. But then, it was pouring rain this morning. And so I drove them down to their little bus stop. So they didn't [00:18:00] complain about being wet, picking my fights, and we're waiting in the car and we're listening to Chappell Roan's album from last year. That's just so good.

And there's some very obviously wonderfully powerful and sexy songs in there, but I remember one point, there's one song something you want to fuck me and I watched my ten year old and my eight year old look at each other like holy shit.

Claire: Yeah.

Quinn: I’m not sure if they know what that in specific means, but they know that words not cool.

Claire: Yeah. No, I do like her music and my kids do too. And I don't want to be a cool parent, and be like, hey, let's talk about, because her music is pretty, not necessarily for kids or at least I choose the cleaner versions, or I don't say, Hey, when she says I got a wand and a rabbit, do you know what those mean?

Quinn: Right.

No, but I guess I just have gone more neutral like you know when my 12 year old I think he was like nine or ten and we just have one of those Siri speakers in the basement and I remember hearing him blasting like Eminem and I know again great sure great, [00:19:00] One of the greatest rappers of all time, top five, but there's some stuff in there that's like it's not sexy time not great.

It's other things, not great. And I remember thinking like I just said to him, I was like, not yet. We'll get there. But listening to Chappelle Roan's stuff this morning and I guess my wife and I have gotten to this point because we both have decent potty mouths. They're gonna hear it. We're not trying to be aggressively proactive, the cool parents, though my wife will say, this is their art. They get to say what they want to say for their art. But at the same time, it's like, I don't know. I don't know, man.

Claire: First of all, it's Chappell Roan. I just want you to, because you just have to, I don’t want you to embarrass yourself.

Quinn: What did I say?

Claire: Chappelle, like Dave Chappelle, and I don't want you to,

Quinn: She doesn't deserve that. Chapel.

Claire: Yeah, chapel, yeah, sorry, I don't mean to be pedantic, but because there's the whole sing along aspect to it, and, eventually, how hard are you going to hit those n words, when you're rapping along to, whatnot, and I show them stuff like I watch a lot of RuPaul's Drag Race with them.

I might like joke with my husband that I just like, I actually told my husband I was [00:20:00] like, I need to play them the new Lady Gaga song because they just need to be a little bit more gay, so they watch Drag Race and they, people always call each other bitch but I'm like, you're not allowed to say that ever.

Quinn: And that's the difference. You can be like, Not for you. They're adults. It's a thing.

Claire: But yeah, it's funny because they, so Super Bowl is this weekend who knows when this will air but Kendrick Lamar is obviously a halftime artist and I know about his cultural relevance but I don't really actually know his music and the weird backdoor entry is that I knew because I read gossip, I knew about his beef with Drake, I knew about these diss tracks going back and forth.

I didn't know the music, and then I finally, I was like, I should listen to some of this, so I finally listened to Not Like Us. And, do you know that song? Have you heard it? The, okay. I was like, I know this song, and it's because my 12 year old rewrote the lyrics to make a rap song with him and his friend.

He and his friend are so dorky together, I think I told you about when they made [00:21:00] their own Pokemon cards and he got his own laminating machine. So he clearly has listened to all of this music and heard all these words, but I can't be mad. This guy's performing at the Super Bowl.

It's not like this is transgressive stuff. It's mainstream. It's already been mainstreamed. And I'm just gonna, I don't know, just leave it there for now and we'll figure it out. Cause I don't know. I'm not, I can't be too pressed about that right this second. And I know my place in culture, which is like not relevant.

No one wants to know what I think.

Quinn: That's the thing. Again there's obviously lines with some stuff, though clearly we're giving up on those left and right. But, first of all, they just don't, care what I think. They just don't care.

Claire: No, and if you try too hard, they will go the opposite way. I mean, remember when our kids were babies and you're like, I'm going to put my kid in a Wu Tang onesie. Ha Ha.

Like cool. I'm a cool parent and the cool baby, or I remember when my son was like two and he listened to, we have a video of him eating baby food and we're playing Ciara music and he's like bopping.

And I'm [00:22:00] like, look at my cool baby. Look what I did.

Quinn: My kids watched the video for Despacito before I did. Have you seen that?

Claire: No, but I'm aware of it, yeah.

Quinn: So you'll probably even though it's 10 years later you'll have the experience I did and I try to be on top of stuff, but I was like, oh this new song everyone's talking about. Open it up on YouTube. And again, this is like 10 years ago, and it's like, Congratulations, you're the 7 billionth person to have seen this video.

And you're like, oh, I'm actually the last one. That is, there are no other people. But the video is incredible, but, not for what was at the time, like my 3, 4, and 5 year olds, but, just an incredibly catchy song for dancing around the kitchen when I'm just trying to make fucking chicken nuggets. It's whatever gets it done.

Claire: Yeah going back to Eminem is we're always trying to think of movies to watch with the kids that we actually would want to watch. And as they have been listening to Eminem I was like maybe Eight Mile. And then I was like, I remember that a lot of Eminem's music is about wanting to kill slash maybe have sex with his mom.

And I'm like, I won't be the one to introduce this. It's [00:23:00] already, things are weird enough as it is, but do you remember what your first concerts were and if you've taken your kids to any like major shows, have they gotten to that milestone yet?

Quinn: Good questions. I don't remember what my first one was. It might have been Tom Petty I don't know. It might have been like Missy Elliott. She's from Virginia Beach. That was a great one. She was a fucking all star.

It's up there. I do remember a really great one in high school, but at the same time we also had, like I have a t-shirt and I don't remember going so maybe it's my older brothers of like, you know, William Mary it's five feet down the street and they've got this little amphitheater on the water and it was one of those concerts where it's eight bands and you've never heard of any of them but the third one is called Dave Matthews and I was 10. I was like, wait, was that my first concert like possibly I don't know. All I want to do is hang out with my older brother and his friends. But I do remember trying to impress a girl and a bunch of us went to, this is a two hander concert. One was not like the opener for the other. It was Jewel and Rusted Root in [00:24:00] Virginia Beach, and that was a good one.

And I remember that specifically because also trying to show off, I remember we went to a very questionable place to get wings, and I thought it was awesome. So I ordered the ones where the lady was like, you shouldn't do that. And I did and I haven't had a hot thing since then. Yeah I don't know, I tried to do the gamut. I wish I had gone to more, but at the same time, like, very privileged growing up, but my parents were also very much like, look, if you need something, like we will help with that. But if it's something like you want, best of luck, best wishes. My dad, I remember I had some baseball cleats and I wanted the new Ken Griffey ones.

And he was like, that's great for you. Get on your little bike and ride four miles to this seafood restaurant he was a partial owner of. And he said, you can start washing dishes today. And it was fucking awful, but I did. And I got those cleats and I was like, they're amazing.

So I don't think I got to go to a lot of concerts because I couldn't fucking afford it. And now it's a [00:25:00] nightmare.

Claire: They would have to go to get in line to get the tickets, back then.

Quinn: They took us to a Stones concert. That's interesting, in Baltimore. When I was like 13, I remember thinking, but I think that was for them. I think that was one of those we're going to consciously try to expose them to this, and it’s within striking distance. And my dad was mad the whole time, but it was amazing.

Claire: That's so funny. We took the kids to, they've been to like some fests, which I don't think quite count. Evanston had a folk fest this summer that they went to. But we took them to see Weird Al Yankovic a couple of years ago, but it wasn't the like mainstream tour. He was like, these are my B sides, like the original songs, not the covers.

And I saw this and I told my husband, I was like, these are not the songs that they love because my kids love Weird Al cause they're boys and Weird Al is made for little boys and not only little boys, but let's just be real. And he said no let's do it anyway. And the intro was a comedian named Emo Phillips, who is like a late 1980s comedian, who's like kind of conceptual.

And so my [00:26:00] son at the time kept whispering angrily to me, why is that funny? After every punchline. And at a certain point, I said just be bored and just sit there, I got tired of trying to explain the jokes. So then Weird Al comes out and he does these songs and none of them are Eat It or White and Nerdy and they were bored and laying in their seats.

And I think my husband and I just made the decision that we were going to just enjoy the show and ignore them. And that actually felt like a weird milestone in our parenting where we were like, we don't give a shit about them. They're fine. They're alive. They're behaving. Yeah, and we paid the money.

We're here. We're at Symphony Center, and we're gonna enjoy it.

Quinn: That’s a big parenting thing, because it's so hard not to constantly look over and be like, don't do that. Are you bored? I'm sorry you're annoyed, this and this, and just be like, here's the deal. This is how we are on flights at this point. you don't want anything to do with me. I don't want anything to do with you.

Like you said, we paid for these tickets, but please don't talk to me. Like this, I need my time.

Claire: It was funny because I have a friend of mine and [00:27:00] he and I are like music friends and concert friends but he took his daughter several years ago to see The Weeknd and I think he only knew his hits and his daughter must have been maybe like 9 and 11 at the time and I remember thinking like that's not a kid's show and the Weeknd really is not kid's music, and it was at Soldier Field, we live in Evanston, so it's quite a schlep. Soldier Field is a pain in the ass to get to. And it turned out exactly the way I thought it would, where it started late. Everyone is dressed, I think they’re next to someone he's mentioned who, was a person of size who was like wearing bondage clothing and spilling out of their seat and their clothes.

And they had a blocked view and the girls decided they wanted to go home after four songs. And the dad was furious, because this was a lot of money and a lot of time. It is just interesting when parents like are cool like that. I went and volunteered at the Charlie XCX, Troye Sivan show this summer to register people to vote.

Haha. We were so young and innocent then. And [00:28:00] I don't know , if you are brat Quinn?

Quinn: No. From my understanding of brat, which is very limited and also one of those words I'm not allowed to use in the house. Like when I call the rainstorm this morning rizz and they just left. Oh boy, just digging the hole deeper. I'm not but just to preface to say I'm on the same page, I didn't know who these people were either, until I guess it was this summer, they did a tour together, and I think Lorde showed up at one point, and her music was everywhere, with the original album and the remixes.

I didn't know who Troye was either, I didn't know he was also an actor. But I did see someone who was like, oh, they had this Madison Square Garden show. It was like the greatest thing ever happened. And I Googled him and I saw, I don't know, he was on YouTube on some talk show a couple years ago talking about coming out.

And it was like the most eloquent thing ever and I was like, great. I'm a fan now.

So that's my answer. That's how much I know about them.

Claire: Yeah I went because I was like, this will be a good show to volunteer for because I think it'll be great people watching. It's very much like of the moment, but also I don't really care if I see the show that much. And the [00:29:00] people watching was amazing. It was a lot of like men wearing like little undies and wearing tiny t-shirts saying baby slut on them and like a lot of skin. But there were a couple of parents there with kids, little kids and I was like this is not a kid scene per se and I was like cool mom a little bit side eyeing them but also being like I respect you.

You are a cool mom, but also there were definitely guys like on GHB in front of me at the show, like falling behind the seats, falling in front of the seats, and I did leave early and I was like, good job. All you youths who are registered to vote, enjoy your show. I'm going to go to bed.

Quinn: So it's a funny thing to me because obviously there's a big difference, but I always think of this as people with bumper stickers on the car, which is you saw that, you paid for, or you sought it out, you paid for it. You went outside, you took the time to go outside and put that exactly like this is very intentional something comes on.

You're the only person that still listens to the radio, playlist or whatever it is, your kids are [00:30:00] playing it. The effort required to be like can we change that either because it's bad or it's quote unquote inappropriate is a lot less than am I going to pay and take my time to take you to one of these things, right? Which is you're not necessarily condoning it, but you're saying like, all right, I support your support, at least for the five minutes you're into whoever this is, whatever this is, and you can usually tell who's going to stand out and who's not for a longer period of time. And for a year and three quarters all my daughter wanted was to go to one of these Taylor Swift concerts. And we were like, absolutely not. Because all my wife and I could think about was like, our parents would have been like, oh that's great go fuck yourself. Not because of the music, amazing, or the show, apparently incredible but simply the cost.

And what that cost, first of all I'm not paying that, but also what that means and they immediately tell their friends and their friends tell their parents. Why can't I [00:31:00] go and your parents know exactly how much that cost and all that different, it's like when someone comes over to your house for the first time or they see your fucking car and yeah, we fended it off for so long until one of the producers of the Wicked album was like, oh I can get just get you guys tickets.

Claire: Oh, okay.

Quinn: And she was like, is that better or worse? And then it was in Miami. So ithat's in striking distance from Virginia.But we were like, okay. And, my wife could say we got them through work, we got very lucky, it was basically the end of the tour, and as much as usual, I was incredibly difficult about the whole thing, mad dad, from start to finish. I did, on giving you that answer of what were my first shows and what were the sort of the fundamental building blocks?

Cause live music's incredible. Like I played music for a very long time and love it. I saw John Williams at the Ball. I've done all the different versions of everything I've seen [00:32:00] now 20 Springsteen concerts, and all these different things. I saw Lauryn Hill and like the one night she showed up to do a concert and it was fucking incredible.

And I did think back and go, Man, I almost deprived her of that, and there's still a part of me that's just like fuck you but again when I think back that's a pretty specific, what do they call them in Inside Out, a core memory.

Even though by the way now she's like completely moved on to Tyla and all these other people and random country artists, but I don't know, maybe I'm getting soft.

Claire: The Taylor Swift thing, I have such weird feelings about because, and I hate to gender things, but it to me is so mother daughter coded and I know there's mothers who love Taylor Swift with their sons. And I actually like going to concerts by myself. I like not having to rely on someone else's energy, or preferences or anything like that.

But there is something so look at us. We're on social media. We made the bracelets. If you went to a Taylor Swift show and didn't post about on Instagram, did it really happen?

Quinn: Our kids don't go on the [00:33:00] internet. Like first of all, we lock them down but like we don't post them or anything like that and for a thousand annoying reasons and they hate us for it. But yeah, I don't know.

Claire: But I'm sure, I know they're great shows, just the way that, like, when I saw, Paul McCartney play and he just stood there for three hours on his own he's 80, 000 years old and he just killed it.

Quinn: He starts playing. Hey Jude and you're like, I am glad I am here. I'm glad I saw this.

Claire: Oh my god, when I saw The Stones this summer, that was depressing, they opened with Start Me Up and Keith hit a clanger and he started with the wrong chord and that really shook me for a long time, it was like, it's like we ever get like that feeling when you know there's no God and it like jolts you like electricity and you just feel so just not in the right place. Anyway, so I respect Taylor Swift and I guess I'm happy for the people who take their daughters and not silly daughters, go see Taylor Swift, but there is something about that experience that I'm like, yeah, I don't know how to explain it. It's very Disney. It's the way I feel [00:34:00] when parents take their kids to Disney and then also buy their kids so much Disney merch. And I just had these like weird feelings of I call it judgy FOMO. That's my thing. But again I know she knows what she's doing.

She's a great artist and it's great that kids can see, we're going to take our kids to see Franz Ferdinand, who has been around and because they like them and it's an all ages show. It's at the Vic theater, which is not that far from us. Not a really big show. Because to me, I think deep down I am more of like a rock dude than I am like a diva lady.

And so I hope they get a cool experience seeing people and Franz Ferdinand has like a disco kind of feel to it, which I like, like it's dancey. So I don't know if it'll be a transcendent experience for them or not, but I hope we have a nice time. A little better than, Weird Al singing his unknown originals, but we'll see.

Quinn: In talking about this and listening to you talk about it, no one has less FOMO than I do. Please don't call me. I'm already in bed. I don't, not only do I have a fear of it, I have a fear of you actually calling and doing it because I just want to go to bed and it's been that way for a long time.

We talked about the alcoholism and [00:35:00] being an introvert, but I do have, again, I mentioned my, one of my best friends died and I've had others and close calls, this real probably not irrational because it's coming for anybody but like sentimentality like real fear of the death thing and the clock's ticking no matter what and I have this funny story, so we lived. I don't know. The miles don't matter in Los Angeles. It was like two miles from the Hollywood Bowl, right just a incredible place to see any show. It doesn't matter. We saw Maggie Rogers there again, saw John Williams like all the different things and I think our kids were like four, five and six and we had tickets for a Sunday night Tom Petty show, right? And it's Tom Petty. It's a little, it's not Paul McCartney, but it was a little we should probably see him. Like we went to a Springsteen show last year. We were like let's do one. You're Stones. Let's knock it out. Let's count it. And kids are four, five and six, whatever it was by the time six o'clock on Sunday night rolled around.

And we were like, We're fucking exhausted. Like this thing can't do it. We wake up the next morning, [00:36:00] and they're like, the show went so well, he's decided to do one more on Monday night. And we're like, Let's do it. Let's take it easy today. Ship the kids to grandma's like whatever it takes, it's two miles down the road.

You can take a trolley, all this different shit, right? No excuses besides being tired which deal with it and it's just such a great night there. We get to six o'clock and we're like we got tickets and StubHub whatever paid for them and I remember telling my wife like I don't know. We might not get many more chances. She, first of all, she fucking hates when I talk like that, even though that's all that's going on here all the time. It's oh, running out of time.

Claire: Cat's in the cradle.

Quinn: Yep, that's it. And we don't go.

And again, part of me gets it. I'm tired, and we don't go. We wake up the next morning, and Tom Petty's fucking dead.

Claire: Ah, you killed him!

Quinn: I literally looked at my wife, and I remember saying, and now I'll say this in front of strangers, apropos of nothing, and they're like, what the fuck? And I'll say, you killed Tom Petty.

And now, we have a blood oath, that if [00:37:00] there's like a must see, we gotta go, because you never know and of course she hates everything about me most of the time which is fair. But I wonder as much as like I push back on the Taylor Swift thing again like I remember going to my first four hour Springsteen concert, which is like going to church like it's this incredible thing, I remember dragging my wife to Beyonce at I think it was like 2017, 2018, no kids, at the Rose Bowl incredible huge stadium. And seeing it, and her dancing in a pool of water and all this shit, and leaving and being like, Yeah, one, we're exhausted, but oh my god.

That was, even if we never do it again. So I wonder if that's why I finally was like, I'm glad she had this thing, which is clearly a cultural thing. And deal with all the rest of it.

Claire: Yeah, no, I know what you mean. I saw Prince and I'm so glad that I did because he 100 percent delivered. Every single, I remember just being like, he was everything. He gave you everything you wanted, he was like this big far away and he was like still making eye contact with you, just being like so cute and sexy at the same time.

But it was funny cause I got [00:38:00] invited to see Madonna, I was offered a free ticket to see her last year. And I said, no, because she goes on late and I'm like, I don't like Madonna enough to put up with that shit and, also I don't approve of the way that she has chosen to age herself, which I know is a whole other conversation, Cindy Lauper is a different story, but yeah, I chose not to see, and I don't, I actually have no regrets and I'm sure it was a transcendent show, but I was like, I don't have that connection with her, and again, I would be so angry. I like a professional, and I know that Taylor Swift would do her three hours and she knows there's all those little kids in the audience who might not see her again. And so now my thing is I was listening to the new Gaga song, which is so stupid, but in the best way.

And I'm like, I think when she starts touring, I got to get tickets probably and get myself over there to see her and just lose myself in the stupid dance, Gaga music of it all. But that'll be my, and by that point I'll be 46, which is okay, how long are we going to do this [00:39:00] for?

Quinn: Life, not much longer apparently. I guess that's what, but even again, like listening to the Chapell Roan this morning and just endeavoring and failing to be even funner dad most of the time I was like, yeah, I would go to the show it would be a fucking blast like we'd have a great time. Like I would stand out like a monster and yeah, there's some like relatively inappropriate stuff this and this but we're trying to be, again, without being obnoxious as sex positive as humanly possible, as body positive, all these different things, and I'm like, I'd rather get it from there than some other sources that are not so great.

Claire: Yeah she's so not even like transgressive that the cheerleaders for the Evanston Catholic football team were dancing to Hot To Go at the halftime show like she's you know, already, again, you can't get mad at kids for listening to stuff about, I never listened to Oh my god, WAP, WAP, I don't even know how you say it, but yeah, I also, I can't get mad, like again, we listen to music about having sex in a hot [00:40:00] tub, so you know.

Quinn: All of the time. This is the thing if you heard your kids listening to I Wanna Sex You Up right now, new song, old song, your boys are, what is it 10 and 12, 9 and 12? Would you turn it off? That particular song. Yes or no? Lightning round.

Claire: No, I guess not. No, I guess I couldn't.

Probably not, but I think what would be weirder would be explaining to them that I was their age, singing to that, and I probably wouldn't turn it off.

Quinn: Okay, we're gonna do a lightning round. Pony by Genuine.

Claire: I'll listen to that. Womp. No, come on.

Quinn: Freak Like Me by Adena Howard.

Claire: No. Because they wouldn't get it.

Quinn: Okay,are you sure they wouldn't pick up on it?

Claire: No, but, I don't know. They're pretty dumb. I don't know if they're listening to, they're not necessarily listening to lyrics.

Quinn: Sure. Sure. Sure. But I just that's, I think that's what I realized this morning is that more than ever they're listening to the lyrics. And I didn't realize it. I mean at least for f bombs that stick out.

Claire: Not my neck, my back, my pussy, my crack.

Quinn: I was going to say, wait, did you send me that video? That's like [00:41:00] like cleaning to My Neck, My Back. Right again, very specific. And that's great.

Claire: Not Put It In My Mouth. I wouldn't do that one.

Quinn: That's right. Yeah, we had some of Snoop Dogg's original album Doggy Style on the other day, which in itself, they're just like what is that? We love our doodle.

Claire: Yeah, that's so funny, man. It's funny how he's annoying now for just the journey he's been on where it was like, what a nice elder statesman. And now you're like, wait, maybe he will just do anything for money.

Quinn: Right and but good for him. I'm trying to find some other ones that are really offensive, but I can't see them now. What about, would you take your kids to a Nirvana show right now?

Claire: No, that was not my thing. Those were not my people. You know what I mean? I was not into alternative music to go see it in person like that.

Quinn: What about ACDC?

Claire: That would be fun. Not, maybe not them now, but absolutely. We listened to, like Jock Jams.

Quinn: Considering all the ACDC lyrics are the exact same as Snoop Dogg's, basically.

Claire: I’ve Got Big Balls but also that's what boys, I'm a girl, anything, yeah. Anything jock jammy is [00:42:00] absolutely going to be.

Quinn: Fuckin jock jams. I had editions. I'm gonna have to send you, yeah, I'm gonna have to send you pictures of my CD case that I found. It's pretty incredible.

Claire: Yeah I asked my husband what the kids have been listening to in the car lately. Let me tell you, let's see, let me read this. He said oh, Imagine Dragons, still happening, 21 Pilots, which kind of annoys me for reasons I can't quite articulate, but that's fine. Aerosmith, Dream On is in there.

I guess Kendrick Lamar but my husband wanted to point out that they have been listening to comedy albums as well, including Bob Newhart.

Quinn: Wow.

Claire: So he said, they're still my kids.

Quinn: By the way, great. But, same thing, you listen to Steve Martin. Or you listen to, Oh, God. Eddie Murphy, Raw. Oh boy.

Claire: No. That's, I would not put that on for them.

Quinn: Don't do that. I'm trying to think of what else, I'm on 90s Dance Party Essentials. That's not really what we're looking for here. Missy Elliott. DMX, that's a tough one.

Claire: A lot of it, I think at a certain point it's like, I can have my own interior narrative to the music that doesn't involve [00:43:00] them.

And I'm flashing back to my time and my high school experience, which was like a mix of this raunchy music, but still being an innocent, virgin baby, and you just don't know, and so they don't want to hear that about me just the way I don't really want to know what they're listening to per se and there is supposed to be a, I think a healthy divide. I think it is weird if you are a parent who aspires to share exactly the same music with your kid.

Like you should, it is healthy to not understand, or at least pretend to not understand what they're listening to or what's cool. I would, I think, I don't know. Maybe I'm wrong, because otherwise it's like sad at a certain point. If you're like, Hey fellow kids, like I like whatever it is you're listening to.

And I don't, I don't know. I don't know. This is funny. I was listening to some YouTube about trap music and like they the sort of skipping sound and they were tracking it back to like old Scottish music, you know I'm like, this is interesting but also I'm never going to reveal to my kids that I know anything about this like I'll just pretend I can't [00:44:00] understand it and that's fine. I'm at the point now where I can't unhear the triangle in Yeah you know, Little John/ Usher song and that yeah, it drives me crazy now.

Yeah, I don't know. What do your kids listen to besides Chappell Roan and I presume Kendrick?

Quinn: It's a lot of that stuff. It's a lot as my daughter says about whatever the playlist is like today's hits, it comes and it goes with whatever's going on. My oldest is again, definitely into a wide range of things. Oh God, this morning I heard him because he plays drums like I did, which is a mistake, but he's downstairs fucking around on his drums.

And he's again, it's always John Williams or it's ACDC. And then I heard a bunch of other 90s music and I was like, Hey, that was really great. And he goes. Yeah, I asked Siri to play a 1900s playlist of rock music and so I don't know. Again, I'll throw on random shit cuz I still like being exposed to old stuff. But I'll also be like, yeah, we're gonna listen to NSYNC. That's the way it's gonna go.

Claire: I have a friend whose son convinced her, this is her [00:45:00] younger son, and I have, I think there's a big difference between younger and older kids. But her younger son convinced her to take him to see Travis Scott because he presented a very convincing PowerPoint presentation. I was like, surprised that she said yes to that because like Travis Scott, I think of Astroworld basically, and him seemingly not discouraging trampling basically. But, yeah, I don't know. But apparently they had a good time and she sat in the back and read a book or something like that.

Quinn: And again like I'm all for look man, whatever you're into as long as you're not hurting people would I take my kids to an insane clown posse show? No, would I do Nirvana? Maybe but that's also in hindsight like super sentimental as much as the music is great, right?

Claire: How about Kanye now? I saw Kanye first album when he, I saw him play House of Blues with Jennifer Hudson.

Quinn: No, but in those first eight years like oh my god, are you kidding me? And like he made all the Jay Z music. I remember again a once in a lifetime thing, I don't remember how this happened, friend of a friend was living in New York. And I got [00:46:00] this call and it's 10 o'clock on a Saturday night.

And my friend is like, I'm on my way to the Apollo, two very white guys, me and him. He said, Jay Z's doing a show at the Apollo tonight. Didn't tell anybody like you can come with me. And I remember going and we're in like the fourth row and just thinking like, this is like the greatest thing that's ever happened.

And I get to cross Jay Z off my list, which is great. Again, this was like 2005, 2006. Peak. But. I don't know. Again, there, I think there's an obvious line and then there's ones that are like what, do whatever you want.

I just want to go in the closet and eat trail mix.

Claire: Yeah. So what are you listening to now then? If you're going to go for a walk or something like that?

Quinn: Silence a lot of time, honestly. I do classical music a lot during the day because it's helpful and words are distracting to me. Words that I know really well. Like perfectly are not distracting anymore like movies I can put on Hunt for Red October all day and it won't bother me. Let's look at my recently played list. The Energy playlist from Apple music I use for working out because it's just, it's a radio station and it's just dumb jock [00:47:00] jams, which is all I really need. Chapell Roan, Lord of the Rings soundtrack, roller skating jams.

Claire: Oh, that's cute.

Quinn: Hard Bop Essentials, which is great jazz. Tyla Essentials, Sabrina Carpenter's new album, which I also appreciated, it's good music. Good pop music. Would I take my kids to the show at this age? Probably not, but I did appreciate when someone was like, Why is your music so sexy?

She was like, Don't come to the fucking show. No one's making you listen to my shit. 80's hits essentials. Retrograde. Bedtime Beats. This is always the saddest one. Great, really chill music. And my kids would be like, it's three o'clock. Do we have to listen to Bedtime Beats? I'm like, Daddy is very tired. I don't know.

Best of Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. Like it's so random. Sometimes I'm like, do I listen to enough music because of podcasts and audiobooks, which I also love? I don't know.

Claire: It's okay I'm fine with being, again, like I'm fine with not really knowing Kendrick Lamar's stuff. I remember I might get into it. I remember like really liking the Weekend halftime show that he did. And I think that kind of got me into him basically. But it's not my [00:48:00] job to like everything.

And there is so much music and I listened to so much pop culture gossip stuff that I find things through that, God, is it Madison Beer? No Addison Rae. All these Addison Madison. Like I got into a song through that, but I'm in a Beatles ensemble right now with the Old Town School of Folk Music.

So we're doing Magical Mystery Tour. So I've been listening to that on repeat because I have to sing and play along with that.

And then I'm going to go see a drag show, a drag Beyonce show in March.

And I don't know, I just really only knew the superficial hits and I didn't really get into the album.

So I had a friend and her kid made me a Beyonce playlist so I can know and feel the songs when they come on. Cause I wasn't that familiar with like stuff from her last several albums. So that's like my research and that's nice to have an aside. And I do that, my parents did to do that for us.

Because they used to take us to musicals a lot, Cats and Les Mis and things like that. And they would play us the soundtracks ahead of time so that we would recognize the music. And so we're going to do that for the kids. We did that with Wicked. [00:49:00] And so we're going to listen to a lot of Franz Ferdinand before the concert so that they'll like, be like, I know this song.

Quinn: That’s nice, so they’re not like, why is everybody cheering? Who cares about this, right? And you're like this is the song when I was, yeah.

Claire: When there's a song and I appreciate when there's a medley or there's a jam, and so we'll see, I'm keeping my expectations low. It might be another leave after three songs kind of thing or take one kid home. But it was funny, because before I knew the kids were coming, I started having a completely different narrative in my head about what the night would be like, and what I might take to go to the show, and things like that, and now it's a family affair, and that's a totally different thing, and there'll be no losing myself, Diet Coke, and maybe they can have a Diet Coke if they're good boys. But yeah I remember, and this is like how old I am now, where we were at our friend's house outside Seattle a couple of years ago, and they live near their version of Wolf Trap, like a big outdoor stadium, and there was music drifting over, we were sitting outside in their yard, drifting over, and it was this really distinctive voice and it was Michael McDonald.

And that was the [00:50:00] kind of music where I fully took it for granted for my whole life. And I was like dorky and lame. I just watched this documentary about yacht rock that I maybe recommend. You won't be mad that you watched it. It made me appreciate yacht rock a lot more, especially the blending of genres but they, someone said like Michael McDonald has the kind of voice and you could hear it from three football fields over and recognize it.

And I was like, that's literally what happened to me. And it got me way back into it. And then the Regulator. And so I love that kind of experience where you're like, Oh man, I forgot. I took it for so granted and it's so in the background of my life. And I didn't really recognize like how good it actually is.

And let's get into it.

Quinn: And that's the thing. It's letting go of the, at least for yourself like the shame parts. There's that meme online, one of my buddies who's a Nike trainer, he's like one of the more beautiful human beings you've ever seen. He's like this 6'3, Black guy. He's finally getting older. He's cut like a Adonis and he posted the meme of like mad guy in headphones like this is my game face.

And on the inside, it's like Fleetwood Mac, and it's like, truly, who cares?

[00:51:00]